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Helen
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GRIEF IS THE COST OF COMMITMENT
04/09/08 at 19:24:23
 
"The pain of grief is just as much a part of life as the joy of love, it is, perhaps , the price we pay for love, the cost of commitment.
To ignore this fact, or to pretend that it is not so, is to put on emotional blinkers which leave us unprepared to help others to cope with the losses in theirs" Collin Murray Parks."


Shock/Denial ~ Anger ~ Bargaining ~ Depression ~ Acceptance


We had learning Circle last night and spoke of the stages of grief.
It seems when we are in it, it is hard to see out side of our own pain.

To list the process for people who are experiencing any of the stages apart from the Acceptance stage might seem to them harsh maybe even clinical.

I am a counsellor and have studied loss and grief. I can tell you now.... to be a fully qualified counsellor is not an easy path to take.
In each of the learning stages we went through, we are put through... and have to experience the learning and the pain of the losseach of us has experienced. We are told to talk about our losses and we have therapy our selves.

I had a lot of counselling and support when going through the stages of loss and grief.
To understand others and listen with a supportive professional head on our shoulders we have to have come to the acceptance of our grief first. Other wise we would be a gibbering wreck after hearing things from our clients that bring stuff up for us.

How many times have you been asked how you are feeling and as you start to open up and tell others your story and share your pain ... has the person asking the question gone on to say i know how you feel... because this has happened to me.... then they have gone on to tell you their story.... All of a sudden the roles are reversed... the person talking is now listening to the other person and the silence and pain often gets pushed back in as you console the person who was at first showing interest and care?

This is natural and people feel they want to share what has happened to them. As a professional counselor this is something we would never do and we are taught listening skills.
It took 4 years for me to stop asking people questions.!! Smiley

There are different stages of loss and grief and the immediate stage is one of shock and disbelief. This can't be happening....We were talking in Circle about this last night the stages of loss and grief and the way we felt around the times that it happened to us.
I am going to keep adding to the learning Circle here ... Please bear with me as i add  the information and share some of my learning with you... I will put some more information up at the weekend.
Anyone interested in talking about their own grief, what has happened to them and learning a little about this subject join myself and some of our members. J
Join us on Tuesday nights around 8pm GMT

Thank you for those of you who are showing interest in this subject..
If you have any questions please ask. Smiley

Helen.x
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« Last Edit: 04/10/08 at 10:07:31 by Helen »  

love and peace helen.xxx...
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angelswings
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Re: GRIEF IS THE COST OF COMMITMENT
Reply #1 - 04/10/08 at 14:50:25
 
This is very well written Helen, so easy to follow and understand. Thank you for your time in helping others you are truely an Angel Smiley Smiley
I really enjoy the time in the circle, it is really helping me understand my feelings, (even though I do seem to monopolize it) just tell me to shut up if I do this again .......... sorry.
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I am just .................... me !
I will always be just .......me !
I LIKE being just ...........me!
If you don't like ............me
TOUGH !
You are stuck with ........me !

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Helen
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Re: GRIEF IS THE COST OF COMMITMENT
Reply #2 - 04/10/08 at 15:37:56
 
The learning Circle is for everyone honey!! And i will never tell you to shut up!!!
I am glad it i helping you honey. This site is as much yours as everyone elses and we learn every day.
Sharing what has happend to you helps others.
We love you very much! Smiley
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love and peace helen.xxx...
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angelswings
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Re: GRIEF IS THE COST OF COMMITMENT
Reply #3 - 04/10/08 at 16:53:51
 
Awwwwwww Thanks Helen Smiley Smiley Smiley Smiley Smiley Smiley
You are doing a
WONDERFUL job, and I love you all very much too.Smiley Smiley Smiley Smiley Smiley Smiley Smiley Smiley
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I am just .................... me !
I will always be just .......me !
I LIKE being just ...........me!
If you don't like ............me
TOUGH !
You are stuck with ........me !

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sofialogos
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Re: GRIEF IS THE COST OF COMMITMENT
Reply #4 - 04/13/08 at 11:29:11
 
HELEN:  GRIEF IN MY LIFE HAS DONE ITS JOB. i HAVE BEEN CHANGED FROM THE INSIDE OUT. gRIEF LETS YOU GROW AND TRANSFORMS THE WAY YOU SEE LIFE. IT SHUTS DOWN  THE EGO.... AND LETS YOU PERCEIVE OTHERS INA  TOTALLY DIFFERENT LIGHT. IT KILLS EGO. I HAVE GRIEVED IN MANY SITUATIONS AND FOR MANY REASONS. LOVE BEING THE  THE LOSS...FRIENDSHIPS AND PEOPLE WE LOVE THAT HAVE DIED. IT BIRNGS US INTO A NEW DIMENSION OF PERCEPTION OF REALITY. OUR OWN AND OTHERS. LETS YOU BE MORE SENSITIVE  TO THE SIGNS OF EARLY GRIEF IN OTHERS AND ENABLES YOU TO HELP.
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