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What do you see? Am i happy?

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The Captain
Posts: 121
Joined: Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:19 pm

Unread post Tue Jul 04, 2017 9:08 pm

Well, no frankly you do not feel happy. You are losing hope in life and love. You try to smile and look like you are fine but you really need to lean on other people for support a bit more, to show how you really feel rather than trying to appear normal and strong. You don't want to be pitied but people will understand that everyone feels low at times. And this is just a temporary slump for you - I feel that success is on the horizon. But to attain it, you must change your thinking about yourself and some of those unrealistic dreams of yours. You need to get practical and take reasonable steps towards getting what you want. You can be a bit ungrounded and dreamy at times. I feel like you are waiting for something to happen for you, rather than initiating it yourself. But nothing ever happens for those who sit at home on the sofa waiting for luck and opportunity to knock at their door. You need to be more aggressive and positive about your goals. If you need money, think of practical ways to get it. If you want love, you have to love yourself first. Do you even have any achievable, realistic goals and a definite plan for achieving them?

The Captain
Posts: 121
Joined: Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:19 pm

Unread post Wed Jul 05, 2017 1:42 am

You are just a jot of self-belief away from your goals. Why do you feel that you cannot achieve what you want? Don't you have the same equal right like everyone else to be happy? I feel your negativity about life is leaking out to transform your circumstances for the worse. I think you have grown afraid to believe that things will get better for you, for fear of being disappointed. This negativity you feel has become like a wall around you, blocking you off to good fortune. For instance, I feel there are many people around you who love you but you have closed yourself off to feeling their love. It's time to break down this wall and allow the light into your self-made prison. You need to have some success in something so you can build up a feeling of hope. Think now - even in a small way, what can you do right now to succeed at something?

What is it you really want to achieve right now?

The Captain
Posts: 121
Joined: Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:19 pm

Unread post Wed Jul 05, 2017 4:55 am

PS, Life is really about our attitude to it, and our decisions and choices. Regarding attitude or point of view, you say 'bad things' have happened to you - perhaps you have a skewed perspective and it was actually good things that happened or things that will have ultimately a good outcome. Loss of job, of lovers, of a home, of possessions etc. can all mean that the way is opening up to bring new things and people into your life. Even the death of a loved one is good - good for them because they are out of pain and suffering and we will eventually join them, so it is not 'good bye', just 'see you soon'. Don't lose your trust, man! Believe that whatever happens in is your best interests.

The Captain
Posts: 121
Joined: Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:19 pm

Unread post Wed Jul 05, 2017 7:17 am

Sure, post the photo of you and her.

The Captain
Posts: 121
Joined: Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:19 pm

Unread post Wed Jul 05, 2017 8:59 pm

OK, this is a nice girl, but also a confused, naive and not very mature girl. She doesn't know what love really is nor does she know exactly what she wants from life. Until she does get more of a grip on her feelings, I'm afraid the relationship between you will not grow any deeper. A little more time apart may help her realise what she is missing if you are not there. But most of all, you should not rush or push her for a commitment because she will just become more confused and maybe even afraid.

The Captain
Posts: 121
Joined: Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:19 pm

Unread post Thu Jul 06, 2017 2:13 am

Well, she thinks she loves you, but really she has not had enough life experience to know whether it is love or not. So she is doubting her feelings. She doesn't want to hurt you but she is unsure if she feels enough for you. Unfortunately, she may have to date other people to see if what she feels for you is something stronger. She needs a comparison, as it were. You know that saying "If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was." That applies here. If you cannot wait for this girl to grow up emotionally, you need to move on and find someone who is ready to commit to you. Meanwhile, get on with your life and going about achieving the things you want for yourself.

The Captain
Posts: 121
Joined: Wed Apr 12, 2017 8:19 pm

Unread post Thu Jul 06, 2017 4:00 am

But you can be getting on with your other goals meanwhile.

Meeeeow
Posts: 18
Joined: Fri Jul 07, 2017 1:36 am

Unread post Fri Jul 07, 2017 2:41 am

No your not,your misserable,you've lost someone or something that you loved very much,you will be happy again though and very soon

User avatar
angel722
Posts: 45
Joined: Sat Apr 08, 2017 9:14 pm

Unread post Wed Jul 12, 2017 10:01 pm

I got the same thing as Captain, she feel's very "young" and not quite ready to settle down into the relationship you are looking for. Sometimes it's really cool to fall in love and be in a relationship with our best friend, but it's hard to get out of the "friend zone" and move that relationship in a different direction. I think your friend -zoned in an opposite direction, I'll see if I can explain. I'm feeling some insecurity from her because she did know you as a friend and some of the things you did with other girls or whatever and that was ok when you were friends, she isn't ok with now. When we are friends then we often have blinder's on because they are our friends and can do, really, no wrong, your going to back them up. But when you become "more then friends" you start to see the person in a different capacity and what was acceptable before as friends is no longer acceptable as lover's, if this makes sense. Just because you can love someone as a friend doesn't mean it will work out as lover's, because it's a completely different type of relationship. I kind of feel like your past get's brought up alot? Like possibly comparision to other relationships or people you've dated? Not sure, ,but what once felt like pure freedom, now feels almost like a prison?
I feel there is a serious communication problem, like the way you talked to as friends changes when you become involved. I feel you were both free to express yourselves with each other without judgement but when loves get's involved, the expectations change...Does this make any sense?
Learning how to communicate comes with time and experience, so this will probebly take time. Your both young and how you talk to each other will dictate how good or bad the conversation will go.
Alot of emotions are also involved, and I just keep picking up alot of jealousy, not sure who's part, maybe both, so with passions this high high emotions can be very deep but can also explode like a volcano,lol if not kept in check.
You have the foundation as friends and I feel you could build upon that IF you can carry some of that over into your relationship. There is a reason why you both connected so well as friends, now is the time to see if you can connect as romantic partner's. I think alot of people, when love becomes involved, feel emotions that make them feel vulnerable and so often, in order to try to protect themselves, they create ownership paper's and have these off the wall expectations of what a girlfriend/boyfriend, husband/wife or whatever should be. I think you should both sit down and discover what both of your ideas of what you are both looking for in a partner. You may discover you both have similiar ideas and can build upon what you have, or you may decide that you have everything the other needs as a friend, but not necessarily as a partner.
My husband had a BBF. He was in a band and she was always at his shows, talked to him about problems he had with his current GF, ect. Overall, he described her as really cool, understanding and great to hand out with. He started dating her and she completely changed. Not because he did anything wrong, but who she was as a friend and who she was as a GF were to different people. You'll have to figure this out with each other and see if your meant to be more then friends. I wish you the best!

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