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Old and New frustations

Something you want to get off your chest, say it 'BIG'

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AndromedanStarSeed
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Jul 17, 2017 4:35 am

Unread post Fri Nov 24, 2017 8:15 am

How I'm going to put this for those to understand my frustration's in my life that is old and new. The old one is very painful to the point and very frustrating. To be put in one situation that is bad enough to ruin your life, some point to another. My mother that I love dearly has no regards to things she has done, she knew my pop pop also known as grandfather wanted me follow his steps in Navy. I was close to make it in my reality, until my mom didn't wanted to help me go to schooling to make it as my career and follow family's foot steps to another level. So many fights about this career and my life choices. One day she chose to take that way from me and make it impossible to be accepted in the Navy or any services by making phone call 911 and made an falsify report about me going nuts and hitting her to ruin my life going to services any kind or job, because I didn't wanted to commitment the crime. she wanted me to take my grandmother's pain med's with no regards her mother is going though and suffering. I wasn't allowed to stay over with my grandmothers anymore after that day and was order to leave and go back home after big fight by telling my mom that is wrong you are telling me find your mothers meds and take them for your own use or who ever. My mother is an very violent and forceful person she hit me and my reaction is to block her. Sad thing from all of this I have been taken way and put in to mental illness hospital in 72 hour hold over for not taking my grandmother's med's and how she made up the story as well hurt her self to make it look like I hit her many times and have my father and brothers come against me and cops didn't believe my word they took hers as well my fathers and brothers instead of what I have told them, same reaction I have gotten from rude nurse that treated me like I'm an mental patient due to the report my own mother who falsify what happened at the house and why I'm sent there in first place.

The time I spent in the hospital with these mental illness people who got put in there for something. I hardly sleep well and knowing what if one of these mental cases get out of hand and something goes down, before they put me else where one night was freaky as hell my guts was right some one went nuts and thrown their glasses on the floor and thrown the chair I move out of way before it hit me. I felt so upset being put in there for no reason at all and my mother rubbed in my face like this " see what you have done to me look at those burses " I know she wanted reaction from me in that hospital to be negative. After they sent me home I was treated like its your fault that you did it to your self and be sent here how much I told them the truth it went in one ear out to another I felt they get paid and don't give an blank if some one is really telling the truth.

I had no money to live else where at the time and become jobless due to my mother's actions against me they had to let me go because no show or no call since I wasn't allowed to have my phone at the time I was in 72 hour hold to make phone calls since I cant remember many phone numbers in my head. Bad enough my mother said to my face this is her words to me "you well do what I told you or you well go back into mental hospital and be there permeant" seeing how my mom yelling at me and seeing her eyes go back in forth like mad person, she had my brothers there as an witness as well my father. My mother keep butting in with my dr's appointments I told her stay put oh, no she never listens to me I cant say much because it be nightmare and things go wrong. The wacky nut job dr put me on meds that I had nasty reaction to and I cant pay enough attention to my class. I talked to the office about the situation about these meds that wacky nut job dr put me on. Guess what they blew me off, so I slowly lower dose and go off from them for good and never see that wacky nut job dr who don't care about his patients. This situation is very painful memory that happened many years ago to share in public eyes how things like this slip through the cracks and I pay the price for something that I didn't do.

This one is more resent what's been going on I can't even talk to the nurse, my mother blocked me out as she always there with nice guy who is her therapist for good awhile until he's no longer needed there. I cant even pull this guy and have chat with him hey this is what going on can you help me. other thing that frustrate me to no end having your mother listening in awhile you are in bathroom doing your own business and hear her say this to me "oh you like to back stab" I'm like wtf and thanksgiving this year is the worse one ever!!!! roommate's such as moms friend/as replacement of me and my mom's bf in house hold don't give blank or stick up for me or they get it bad as well, not letting me know hey come and get your plate. When I looked for it its all put way I'm blank out, I cant even grab something for lunch I get yelled at. Her words we are having people come over, guess what its just us no one else. I don't know what to think any more its like omg I need to find else where to live, but I stuck in this mess with two mental illness in house hold who like to run the show not good way and always looking for negative attentions. I hope I get my benefits to find some place to live peacefully with out stress and those who crave negative attentions to feed on and make your life living hell.
Last edited by AndromedanStarSeed on Fri Jan 05, 2018 8:00 am, edited 1 time in total.

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dae
ABT Team
Posts: 45
Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 5:37 pm

Unread post Fri Nov 24, 2017 10:21 am

oh starseed, I am so very sorry you are going through all this. I wish I had some answers for you but all I can do is pray that things start working in your favor. I think it is very sad that your Mom is so destructive to you. Mom's are suppose to be caring, and comforting, and loving, and tender, and gentle, and teach you how to make your life better. You and I never had that. So we have to go inward to find what we need. My Daddy was awesome, I was blessed to have him, and I'm so sorry that you didn't even have that.

My mom died in May of last year and her funeral was not really a nice or comforting one. I think the preacher that did the talk seriously disliked my mom, for in the service he said she was controlling, and hard headed, and all kinds of negative things that were unfortunately true. He even said that someone said they wanted to dance - it was said jokingly - but you know the saying 'dancing on your grave' - that was in such bad taste. I don't think my mom could help being the kind of person she was. Like your mom, I think there is some kind of mental illness involved. I did grow to love mom, and I wanted to share some positive things about her, but I didn't. We did at least do a few things together that I will miss doing with her, although I can't really say I miss my mom.

You just hold your head up high starseed, and remember that you are loved more than you know. You are not alone, although I know you must feel that way sometimes. You are a king, and loving, and giving person in spite of your mom's efforts to break you. I do feel for you, and I will keep you in my prayers every night from now on.

Please take care of yourself hun.

hugs and love
dae

curb9
Posts: 32
Joined: Thu Nov 09, 2017 12:52 am

Unread post Fri Nov 24, 2017 4:04 pm

This isn’t right for you. I hope you find someone to listen and help in real life.

Samanthaj
Posts: 1062
Joined: Fri Apr 07, 2017 5:19 am

Unread post Sat Nov 25, 2017 1:12 am

Hi Star

I'm not sure what to say other than i'm sorry you're having to deal with all of this at the moment. It's not easy to say the least and the stress is doing you no good

Have you managed to begin the process of applying again ... I have hope for you that will be sorted out and then from there it will be much easier to find somewhere of your own
We're here for you as dae says, you're cared about and please take care of yourself.
One day you'll be away from them and you'll find peace again. For now, as much as they aggravate you, you need to try your hardest to keep cool so that there are no false accusations against you .... no lies used to make it appear its you starting trouble. Will also be keeping you in prayers and we're in chat if you ever need to talk

Hugs
"Promise me you'll always remember: You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think." - A. A. Milne

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