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Just Need to Get This Out

Going through tough times, need some support we are here :)

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ColeWayne
Posts: 81
Joined: Fri Apr 07, 2017 4:59 pm

Unread post Mon Aug 28, 2017 3:35 am

I don't normally like to post stuff like this out in the world, but I need to put it somewhere.

I've been feeling out of sorts lately and it's starting to take a toll. It's a combination of things. My workload at my job has increased rapidly and I can't keep up with it, so all day long I'm going, going, going - busy and stressed. When I get home I'm mentally drained and a bit of a zombie, zoning out in front of the TV until I try sleeping. Then my brain just won't shut off, or I have an anxious stomach. The last few nights I've had a neck so tight and sore I couldn't turn it. I was told I'd just have to get through a few rough weeks, but it's been over a month and things are still rapidly coming at me. I'm told I'll be getting help from other people, but I don't know when or if relief will actually come.

Because of this I'm getting rundown. Every weekend I spend most of it in bed either warding off a potential cold or nursing a sour stomach. Then I'm still exhausted on Monday. I just feel like I'm in this awful cycle of just getting through my days. Just gritting my teeth through illness, tiredness, pain, and trudging forward. Then this realization brought on another feeling that my life is just whizzing by in a blue and I'm not really doing anything. I feel like I blink and all this time has gone by and I have trouble finding things I've enjoyed. It's not a feeling like depression. More like I'm missing stuff. Like I'm so stuck in work mode that I don't have the energy for anything else. I also feel super lonely. All my friends are in different life phases and attempts to connect all summer have fallen through. I don't have a significant other or even any prospects. No one's ever even online very much because, again, different life phases. People are busy with kids and such or they're in different timezones. So all this stuff just swirls in my head and I don't have any distractions or anyone to talk to about it.

I just don't know what to do. I feel like a baby, like every other person does this all the time and they deal just fine. I'm over here fraying around the edges. It doesn't help that the days here are getting shorter with the end of summer, which always bums me out. But I also realized I basically missed Summer altogether. I didn't really get out much or hang out with anyone. So, I'm just feeling drained and lonely and at the same time disconnected.

I've tried shielding and grounding and that's just not doing anything. It might be helping block some stuff but it's not helping with my existing tiredness. I've taken days off here and there, which helps, but then I'm behind when I get back and it almost isn't worth it because by mid-week I'm right back where I started. I've tried going to bed earlier to give myself more time to get to sleep and all that's done is cut my evenings short. Currently I have a cat snuggling up to me to cheer me up, which is cool. Animals are great.

Enough of this rambliness. Thank you for allowing me this brain dump.
"Passion. It lies in all of us. And though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl."

Rainbowimagination
Posts: 12
Joined: Fri Sep 01, 2017 4:21 am

Unread post Thu Sep 07, 2017 5:31 am

To me it sounds like you would do yourself a favor to get a time out. Too much workload can be really damaging for you in the longterm. If you are meant to get that outside help at work, then they may need a reminder or (10) for that.
Why is it you that has to take all that load right now? Asking for a conversation with a manager could help. At work, they have to be realistic too in what you could do in a day.
The fact that your body is responding in a way of upset stomach or potential cold is a big alarm bell to me. And it should be to you as well. Your body is a wise instrument that you operate in. And it's telling you to STOP. Because you cannot continue like this. The grounding and shielding is not helping right now because you need to get to the root of another problem. What that is, you may need some outside help for. Someone to talk to. I know it helped me big time, because i recognize your story (espec in workload) so much!

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ColeWayne
Posts: 81
Joined: Fri Apr 07, 2017 4:59 pm

Unread post Thu Sep 21, 2017 4:31 am

Update. I'm not the only one feeling this way at work. The good news is I have someone to talk to. The bad news is things aren't slowing down.

I've connected with a few friends, which has helped a little. I started going to the gym again this week. I'd been going all summer and had stopped due to bad asthma (ragweed hates me).

Still not sure how to resolve all this. Keep taking days off here and there when I can, I guess.

Thank you for replying.
"Passion. It lies in all of us. And though unwanted, unbidden, it will stir, open its jaws, and howl."

TaraViribusay
Posts: 1
Joined: Sat Sep 23, 2017 2:30 am

Unread post Sat Sep 23, 2017 2:35 am

ColeWayne,

I was hoping that your situation would have changed and since your recent post reflects no positive movement, I have a special message for you:

There is much emotional and mental instability. It is a challenge for you to express your feelings; therefore you shut yourself off from others. At the moment, you are at a crossroads and are unsure of what to do and what road to take. One thing is certain, you feel and in many respects know that your career is going nowhere and as a result the frustration is building.

Now is the time to weigh your options and assess your actions. There is a decision you know you must make and you must be strong and trust your instincts. Do not let your emotions continue to consume you. There is a journey for you to make and although the future is unknown, it will be the best for you in this situation. There is an opportunity for healing and growth.

Peace in all things,
Tara V.
Tara V.

It is the prerogative of the fool to utter the truths that no one else will speak. Neil Gaiman, author

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