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Am i under her spell?Why is happening to me?

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rickman150
Posts: 16
Joined: Tue Dec 19, 2017 11:12 pm

Unread post Thu Dec 21, 2017 2:21 pm

Stella1976 wrote:
Thu Dec 21, 2017 8:51 am
rickman150 wrote:
Thu Dec 21, 2017 1:12 am
I do not sense that you were paralyzed at any point, not sure why you couldn't move, most likely it was the fright or flight instinct.
I am like totally paralyzed while she is touching me and groping me.Mouth is open but no words come out of it.I am so confused about what is happening to me!Whether or not it is my fault or not!I feel so ashamed.When she places her hands on me i can't move my hands and legs and i can't speak.She has power over me.I'm just lost. Should I even be upset?I'm SO embarrassed.I can't relax and its constantly on my mind, I can't sleep.It is very frustrating.I can't report her to HR because I don’t think I can discuss this verbally with anyone.It was really hard for me to write this.I am a 41year old woman.I feel embarrassed and ashamed of myself.I'm confused and my mind doesn't stop. I really worry that I'm going to lose myself completely! I don want to waste anyone's time but I had to get some of this out of my head. I have large boobs, and all men like to tell me about them. Men talk about them a lot, but no man ever dares to touch them. If he did I would tell him to ###$ off. If he did I would scream. If he did I might even report it.Being tall and curvy draws attention on its own. This can be both positive and negative. I tower over plenty of men and women. I love my height and my curvy stature. I love satin and silk clothes and dressing up too. I am always in high heels with hair and makeup done. That's just who I am.I love dressing up, I've tried dressing down, but I always end up changing. My clothes are there to be worn!People always ask me why I’m so dressed up.I always like to dress on my best, because I also feel great when I’m dressed pretty. Once, i’d been to the hairdressers and was off to do a little shopping afterwards and the girl at the salon asked where i was going looking so glamorous – i said i was going shopping and she was like “really? You look so glammed up to be going shopping!” I don’t mind though, i’d rather be wearing something i feel good in than look like i just rolled out of bed.I hate my personal space to be invaded. I have never felt such shame or degradation like this in my life.What do you think of me as a person based on the way how i have presented myself here.Please be brutally honest.I suppose I’m asking the question as to whether I give off subconsicous “please come take advantage of me” signals because it was scary how easily she started touching me.And this 55year old woman is short and skinny I’m also so incredibly scared of her.I am physically stronger than her.Standing next to me she looks like a midget.I came to this forum to talk about my freeze response to touching and groping by this weird woman.I feel like the most spineless person. I need help so desperately for this.I am like frozen, detached and numb while she is touching me and rubbing me.I am under her spell.
Look, We can only advise of what to do, but it is YOU who must make the decision. You need to talk to your HR immediately otherwise this will continue and you wont be happy there at all. I can tell your a hard worker and you love your job, your just not a touchy feely kind of person. Just report her and tell the HR rep what you have posted here exactly word for word. heck, if you need to, have a small camera hidden on you and have it recording when she comes near you and show them footage of it, she will get fired.

rickman150
Posts: 16
Joined: Tue Dec 19, 2017 11:12 pm

Unread post Thu Dec 21, 2017 2:28 pm

Also, your HR rep is there to help you. And if not your HR rep, then a manager, thats what managers are there for. They will help you. Follow your Chain of Command, talk to who you need to, and they will help you. most places are Open Door Policy, which means that you will not be retaliated against if you report something like this to a manager or HR rep. But seriously, please do talk to one of them. that is what they are there for. Even though she may not like finding out that she's being fired or written up over it, she will have to deal with it. And, if your workplace cant do anything about it, get an attorney, file a lawsuit against her for sexual harassment and then have a restraining order placed against her where she cannot legally come within 500 feet of you at any time, and if she breaks it, she will land in jail. But, that is your decision that YOU and You alone can make. like i said above, we can only advise you of what to do, and we all want the best for you.

Stella1976
Posts: 6
Joined: Wed Dec 20, 2017 8:21 pm

Unread post Thu Dec 21, 2017 2:53 pm

rickman150 wrote:
Thu Dec 21, 2017 2:21 pm
Stella1976 wrote:
Thu Dec 21, 2017 8:51 am
rickman150 wrote:
Thu Dec 21, 2017 1:12 am
I do not sense that you were paralyzed at any point, not sure why you couldn't move, most likely it was the fright or flight instinct.
I am like totally paralyzed while she is touching me and groping me.Mouth is open but no words come out of it.I am so confused about what is happening to me!Whether or not it is my fault or not!I feel so ashamed.When she places her hands on me i can't move my hands and legs and i can't speak.She has power over me.I'm just lost. Should I even be upset?I'm SO embarrassed.I can't relax and its constantly on my mind, I can't sleep.It is very frustrating.I can't report her to HR because I don’t think I can discuss this verbally with anyone.It was really hard for me to write this.I am a 41year old woman.I feel embarrassed and ashamed of myself.I'm confused and my mind doesn't stop. I really worry that I'm going to lose myself completely! I don want to waste anyone's time but I had to get some of this out of my head. I have large boobs, and all men like to tell me about them. Men talk about them a lot, but no man ever dares to touch them. If he did I would tell him to ###$ off. If he did I would scream. If he did I might even report it.Being tall and curvy draws attention on its own. This can be both positive and negative. I tower over plenty of men and women. I love my height and my curvy stature. I love satin and silk clothes and dressing up too. I am always in high heels with hair and makeup done. That's just who I am.I love dressing up, I've tried dressing down, but I always end up changing. My clothes are there to be worn!People always ask me why I’m so dressed up.I always like to dress on my best, because I also feel great when I’m dressed pretty. Once, i’d been to the hairdressers and was off to do a little shopping afterwards and the girl at the salon asked where i was going looking so glamorous – i said i was going shopping and she was like “really? You look so glammed up to be going shopping!” I don’t mind though, i’d rather be wearing something i feel good in than look like i just rolled out of bed.I hate my personal space to be invaded. I have never felt such shame or degradation like this in my life.What do you think of me as a person based on the way how i have presented myself here.Please be brutally honest.I suppose I’m asking the question as to whether I give off subconsicous “please come take advantage of me” signals because it was scary how easily she started touching me.And this 55year old woman is short and skinny I’m also so incredibly scared of her.I am physically stronger than her.Standing next to me she looks like a midget.I came to this forum to talk about my freeze response to touching and groping by this weird woman.I feel like the most spineless person. I need help so desperately for this.I am like frozen, detached and numb while she is touching me and rubbing me.I am under her spell.
Look, We can only advise of what to do, but it is YOU who must make the decision. You need to talk to your HR immediately otherwise this will continue and you wont be happy there at all. I can tell your a hard worker and you love your job, your just not a touchy feely kind of person. Just report her and tell the HR rep what you have posted here exactly word for word. heck, if you need to, have a small camera hidden on you and have it recording when she comes near you and show them footage of it, she will get fired.
I am deeply embarrassed by this. I feel no sense of self worth, my confidence and self esteem is at its lowest ever. I feel like an absolute useless, worthless, colossal failure. I am feeling so sad. I am truly lost.Things are not going well.I feel kind of weird even posting this. I am not 100% ready to give up yet, but I'm getting really close. I am at the lowest point in my life because of my freeze response to touching and groping by this pervert woman coworker.It's not easy to admit that but right now has to be rock bottom. I guess I just needed to write my thoughts down right now..especially as I don't have anyone to talk to. Thanks for reading and sorry for being such a downer.I am at my lowest point. I want to say that I am so grateful to stumble upon this wonderful gem of a community. I feel selfish when talking about my problems, so I tend to internalize my emotions a lot, so it’s a relief to have an outlet. Thank you all for listening. I don't wear anything vulgar. I dress in mainly tight satin and silk fashionable clothing. Always on high heels.Most of my outfit are satin pant and skirt suits satin coats and satin and silk blouses.I am always on high heels and full make up on.I I like dressing well, and looking presentable.I am dressing like this since i graduated college and got my first office job.It is my whole wardrobe.Its how i like to dress myself and that is my style.

rickman150
Posts: 16
Joined: Tue Dec 19, 2017 11:12 pm

Unread post Thu Dec 21, 2017 3:52 pm

Stella, I want to pass on words of encouragement to you. Personally. And from the deepest part of my heart to you.
You are NOT useless, You are NOT worthless, You are NOT a colossal failure. You ARE a beautiful woman, Never give up even though this is a low for you, dont let it be the lowest point in your life. I know what low feels like, I've been there before. You can always talk to me Stella. And you are oh so welcome for me listening, and I'm sure the others feel the same way. The vibes i get from your posts are of those of someone in need, and we are here to help in any and all ways possible. Tonight after i get home from work and meditate, i will personally cast a protective spell over you, one that should protect you from this lady. It may not exactly be the most powerful one, but it will work. I hope this brings you words of encouragement and puts a smile on your face.

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